What do you do when your bottle threatens to pop?

We all like to think that we’re cool, calm and collected under pressure but unless you’re George Cloony (and if you are, please will you Give A Brick and I loved you in ER ) the reality is that there will be times when you feel your blood start to boil or your fizz threaten to pop. When it’s all over you’ll feel terrible and wish you didn’t get so wound up. But whilst you can always say sorry after the event, there is another way.

Take a deep breath

Whilst it can very refreshing, the purpose of taking a deep breath is not to give you the opportunity to vent your frustration all the more loudly and clearly. It’s ancient advice but as well as flooding your brain with oxygen, taking a deep breath forces you to stop (albeit in briefly) which might be just enough to ward of the otherwise inevitable explosion. I like to think that expelling the breath can feel like you’re forcing the yucky stuff away too and that’s never a bad thing

Count to ten

This works in a similar vein to breathing but because it obviously takes a little longer to count to ten than it does to take a breath, there is even more opportunity to stop the situation you are in from escalating. If it’s an argument, stopping can be good for the other person too. If you stop, they get more chance to speak. Whilst initially this might sound like a dreadful thing to allow happen, just try it. You might be pleasantly surprised at the effects

Laugh

Have you ever had a confrontation with a loved one and it’s starting to look a little ugly when one of you sticks your tongue out and smirks? You both end up laughing and the ugly moment is gone. Or you’re getting your children dressed after the bath, you’re tired and ever-so slightly cranky. Every time you try and dry them, they start wiggling and wriggling. What would happen if you put the towel over your own head and pretended to be asleep?

Smile

Laughter really is the best medicine. I love it. But I do recognize that there are times when it is inappropriate to laugh. If your disagreement has gone past ‘a little ugly’ and has developed into a full blown row, laughing will only make things worse. However, smiling is like a half-way house. A smile can show empathy. A smile can tell the person you care, despite the current situation. If your pent up frustration doesn’t involve another human being, smiling can force you to see the situation in it’s proper light.

A happy heart makes the face cheerful.

If this proverb is true then smiling when your heart is anything but happy works in reverse. Like the fake smile that holds all the same health benefits as a real smile, a cheerful face (even if you feel horrid inside) can make your heart happy.

Talk

I love talking, both to myself and even more so, to other people. Whilst most people like to give themselves a good talking to every once in a while, talking to someone else is a much better way to stop your bottle from popping. The key is to remember that talking is about conversation and conversation should be a two-way exchange. Remember that saying about being given one mouth and two ears for a reason

Walk away

Sometimes, no matter how hard you might try, removing yourself from the situation is really the only viable course of action. As you do so, remember that you will go back, so walk away calmly and confidently. Don’t do what me and my sister did as children and throw in the last word as you depart! You are a grown up Whether you are two, ninety-two or somewhere in between, a period of time out can be a valuable tool if used properly and fairly.

Your turn. What do you do when your bottle threatens to pop?