Would you like to invent a device that magically zaps into the memory of your child, everything that you need them to know? Sounds like a instant hit but in reality, such a contraption would be scary. However, if such a thing were invented, what messages would you zap into your child’s brain and why? Allow me to get you started with a few suggestions …

I love you

It’s said that actions speak louder than words and this is one message a child needs to hear through actions as well as verbally.

‘Actions’ does not mean buying. The majority of children have enough stuff to stock a small department store. Small gestures such as a hug for no particular reason, ruffling their hair, holding their hand when they tell you their latest exciting adventure. Some children are naturally more vivacious. But even the children who apparently don’t like the fuss need to know they are loved. If your child is more reserved by nature, find more subtle, gentle ways to let them know that you love them unconditionally.

I like you

Does that seem like a strange suggestion to include? If you have siblings, think back to when you were little. Did you really love them or just love them because you had to because they were your brother or sister? The same is true as parents. We love our children. It’s our deepest instinct but sometimes, when they’re trying our patience, it can be harder to like them. Your child needs to know that you like them for who they are, just the way they are. It’s one of the greatest messages they can hear from you.

I hear you

Growing up in a family of six children, I learned how to ensure I got heard: I spoke fast. My sister talked fast and loud, even more effective Seriously though, all children need to be listened to and more than that, to know that they are being listened to. Even the most quiet child has something to contribute and too often it is the quiet children who don’t get heard. How many times would you try to speak and get interrupted or spoken over before giving up?

I’m sorry

This is a big one. It’s also the hardest to action. Despite what we might like to think, we grown-ups do not have all the answers. We get it wrong sometimes. When you mess up the best thing you can do is to say sorry. I wouldn’t like to get angry and cross so often that I’m apologising for losing my temper on a daily basis (I try very hard not to shout ) but when you foul up, saying sorry teaches your children a very valuable lesson. They learn that it’s OK to make mistakes. They also learn that it’s best to be honest. They also learn that sometimes emotions get the better of us. You can’t teach these things from a book. You are your child’s textbook for life.

Number Five

What do you believe is the most important lesson you can teach your child? I couldn’t find a fifth and no-one publishes a list of four so I’m afraid it’s over to you

Tagged as: children, Love, message