Comments on: Five things every child needs to hear http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/ Communities, Lives, Love Mon, 15 Aug 2011 18:44:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Gurl http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-2790 Gurl Sun, 04 Jul 2010 02:12:38 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-2790 Even though we may have times we disagree, even though we may have times we don't want to be near each other...the times we love each other and stand by each other will happen most often. .-= Gurl´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/GurlsAsylum/~3/tJiu_wkQNUc/">My Favorite Posts- Week ending July 2</a> =-. Even though we may have times we disagree, even though we may have times we don’t want to be near each other…the times we love each other and stand by each other will happen most often.
.-= Gurl´s last blog ..My Favorite Posts- Week ending July 2 =-.

]]> By: Eleanor http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-2040 Eleanor Fri, 02 Apr 2010 23:26:13 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-2040 You're right Justin. "Let's do it together" is a lot more proactive and beneficial than the grown up doing it all time. And your talk of tasks reminds me of the little things that our children love to do when given the encouragement to do so. I'm thinking of simple things like bringing plates into the kitchen from the dinner table. To my shame, I clearly remember my eldest yelling for me one morning when she was about 6. I rushed in to where she was watching TV, holding out an empty cup! I was horrified that I had raised this child to think that I was her skivvy and we soon put steps in place to change things ;) Thank you for taking the time to leave such a great addition to what has proven to be a popular post :) You’re right Justin. “Let’s do it together” is a lot more proactive and beneficial than the grown up doing it all time. And your talk of tasks reminds me of the little things that our children love to do when given the encouragement to do so. I’m thinking of simple things like bringing plates into the kitchen from the dinner table. To my shame, I clearly remember my eldest yelling for me one morning when she was about 6. I rushed in to where she was watching TV, holding out an empty cup! I was horrified that I had raised this child to think that I was her skivvy and we soon put steps in place to change things ;)

Thank you for taking the time to leave such a great addition to what has proven to be a popular post :)

]]> By: Justin Matthews http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-2038 Justin Matthews Fri, 02 Apr 2010 17:49:31 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-2038 "I'll HELP you do that" I think it is very important for kids to hear that their parents are willing to help them do something instead of just doing it for them. I try to let my kids do whatever task is ahead of them, while being right there to help. It helps them learn independence but that they have a fallback. This post was great Eleanor. Very good info for anyone to take to heart. -Justin .-= Justin Matthews´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/justinsbrainpan/javp/~3/inXB68uiGfg/">I Know Way Too Much About Dresses.</a> =-. “I’ll HELP you do that” I think it is very important for kids to hear that their parents are willing to help them do something instead of just doing it for them. I try to let my kids do whatever task is ahead of them, while being right there to help. It helps them learn independence but that they have a fallback.
This post was great Eleanor. Very good info for anyone to take to heart.
-Justin
.-= Justin Matthews´s last blog ..I Know Way Too Much About Dresses. =-.

]]> By: Eleanor http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-2036 Eleanor Fri, 02 Apr 2010 14:02:49 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-2036 Thanks Carlos :) I really enjoyed putting this one together, it sort of wrote itself really. And you're right, complimenting children on the way they look is fairly unhelpful. And so subjective too. I'm yet to meet a parent who doesn't think their offspring is beautiful ;) Great addition to the list. Thank you :) Thanks Carlos :) I really enjoyed putting this one together, it sort of wrote itself really.

And you’re right, complimenting children on the way they look is fairly unhelpful. And so subjective too. I’m yet to meet a parent who doesn’t think their offspring is beautiful ;)

Great addition to the list. Thank you :)

]]> By: Carlos Velez http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-2033 Carlos Velez Fri, 02 Apr 2010 12:49:59 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-2033 "Great Work" Kids grow up hearing how cute they are, and how pretty, and handsome which is all fine and good, but it builds a self-esteem on something they don't have tons of control over. "Great work" helps them to build a self esteem on how they behave. I think it's most important to say while the work is in progress, so the child knows that perfection isn't what matters...effort is. We can't reserve approval only for successes, or it can make the child neurotic about perfection/failure. There's lots of value in failure, it's important to celebrate that too. Beautiful post, Eleanor. You have a wonderful take on life, and I love it. .-= Carlos Velez´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/consciousme/RiiP/~3/a3ShOanrnDk/">Shyness Is A Learned Behavior, NOT A Personality Trait</a> =-. “Great Work”

Kids grow up hearing how cute they are, and how pretty, and handsome which is all fine and good, but it builds a self-esteem on something they don’t have tons of control over. “Great work” helps them to build a self esteem on how they behave. I think it’s most important to say while the work is in progress, so the child knows that perfection isn’t what matters…effort is. We can’t reserve approval only for successes, or it can make the child neurotic about perfection/failure. There’s lots of value in failure, it’s important to celebrate that too.

Beautiful post, Eleanor. You have a wonderful take on life, and I love it.
.-= Carlos Velez´s last blog ..Shyness Is A Learned Behavior, NOT A Personality Trait =-.

]]> By: Eleanor http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-2007 Eleanor Thu, 01 Apr 2010 11:34:02 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-2007 Too many grown ups too ;) I really do believe there's nothing like enough love in this world which is probably why this post just sort of wrote itself. And it's not just about loving through words. As they say, talk is cheap ;) It's about actions too, being there, loving unconditionally. Thanks for taking time to read this and comment :) Too many grown ups too ;)

I really do believe there’s nothing like enough love in this world which is probably why this post just sort of wrote itself. And it’s not just about loving through words. As they say, talk is cheap ;) It’s about actions too, being there, loving unconditionally.

Thanks for taking time to read this and comment :)

]]> By: Ben http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-1978 Ben Wed, 31 Mar 2010 08:43:39 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-1978 This is a really nice post Eleanor. Thanks for sharing it. I think telling your kid that you love them is so important. Many kids go through life never hearing it. .-= Ben´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/6Aliens/~3/tpqB1XDO4sE/">6 outstanding ways to support someone in their dreams</a> =-. This is a really nice post Eleanor. Thanks for sharing it.

I think telling your kid that you love them is so important. Many kids go through life never hearing it.
.-= Ben´s last blog ..6 outstanding ways to support someone in their dreams =-.

]]> By: Eleanor http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-1974 Eleanor Tue, 30 Mar 2010 22:12:41 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-1974 Awww, thanks Dad :D xx Awww, thanks Dad :D
xx

]]> By: Dr Egg http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-1967 Dr Egg Tue, 30 Mar 2010 21:36:05 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-1967 Hmm. I love a vote of confidence! I also like the suggestion of "I'll be there." However, I was thinking, "It really doesn't matter." I was thinking about all the issues about the need to achieve, get through exams etc. and frankly, if we spend too much time on that as parents, children will loose out - it really doesn't matter. It's the socialising, the leaning to live and love, and an appreciation that they have a unique place in the world that only they can fill. Hmm. I love a vote of confidence! I also like the suggestion of “I’ll be there.” However, I was thinking, “It really doesn’t matter.” I was thinking about all the issues about the need to achieve, get through exams etc. and frankly, if we spend too much time on that as parents, children will loose out – it really doesn’t matter. It’s the socialising, the leaning to live and love, and an appreciation that they have a unique place in the world that only they can fill.

]]> By: Eleanor http://www.giveabrick.com/five-things-every-child-needs-to-hear/comment-page-1/#comment-1957 Eleanor Tue, 30 Mar 2010 12:26:34 +0000 http://www.giveabrick.com/?p=2198#comment-1957 I think it's fabulous that you still remember this. My dad was in the navy and I'm told that by the time I turned 5, he'd missed more of my birthdays than not. Fortunately for me, I have absolutely no recollection of this since it happened when I was still so young. That said, when I was a little older (say 9 or 10 I guess) I do remember being unbearable any time my dad went away. I have no way of knowing if this is related to earlier experiences and the good news is that now, many years later, I have a great relationship with my dad. Children are pretty resilient I guess but there's so much parents can do to make the whole experience better. As for foster parents, they have a tough job. It depends on the circumstances of course but I'm always full of admiration for foster parents. And yes, tough question. I suspect in that situation it would come down to consistency, especially if the foster parent also had their own biological parents at home too. But like you, I have no real answers, just thoughts :) I think it’s fabulous that you still remember this. My dad was in the navy and I’m told that by the time I turned 5, he’d missed more of my birthdays than not. Fortunately for me, I have absolutely no recollection of this since it happened when I was still so young. That said, when I was a little older (say 9 or 10 I guess) I do remember being unbearable any time my dad went away. I have no way of knowing if this is related to earlier experiences and the good news is that now, many years later, I have a great relationship with my dad. Children are pretty resilient I guess but there’s so much parents can do to make the whole experience better.

As for foster parents, they have a tough job. It depends on the circumstances of course but I’m always full of admiration for foster parents. And yes, tough question. I suspect in that situation it would come down to consistency, especially if the foster parent also had their own biological parents at home too. But like you, I have no real answers, just thoughts :)

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