After yesterday’s discussion about the best way to tap into our young people’s potential, it was with a mixture of interest and anticipation that I entered year 10 sex education class this morning.
A discussion with another teacher prior to the class wasn’t very encouraging. She complained that the whole session she had been to last week talked to the folks about ‘when’ they were having a physical relationship rather than ‘if’. She said it did nothing to remind these impressionable young people that the timing of starting a physical relationship was their choice.
The session was scheduled to last for two hours, long even by this grown-up’s standards 
I was prepared for giggling and fidgeting as time wore on but I was pleasantly surprised.
Aside from being introduced to some previously unheard of devices, I learned something today. Despite what the media tries to tell us, your average teenager is no different to you as a teen. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, Ben said as much yesterday. However, to see this demonstrated today was refreshing.
An example of this came when a discussion started about the ethical dilemma of allowing abortions up to the 24th week of pregnancy. Whereas the practical part of the session elicited giggles and balloon impressions, silence descended when the health visitor told the class that some babies survive at 22 weeks if a mother goes into labour prematurely. It reminded me of a debating competition I was a part of when I was 13 or 14. Teenagers today are just as interested and aware of ethical issues as you and I were at their age.
I still remember my sex ed class when I was 14. My parents will be pleased to hear that I was very green Thankfully, the lady running today’s session seemed much more aware of the need to balance education about practical issues with an encouragement for individuals to do what was right for them. Unlike my sex ed teacher, she suggested that it was perfectly normal to ignore peer pressure
As the session came to an end and we were standing around waiting for the obligatory ‘end-of-lesson’ bell, I chatted with a couple of the girls. I reminisced briefly about being in year 10 and how I remembered that the minority of girls who were sexually active at that time were called very rude names (that I’m far too polite to write down ) “Yeah” said this girl, “they still are!” It seems little has changed in the last 17 years
Despite what the media would have you believe, our 21st century teenagers are not leaping into bed with each other faster than you can say ‘hormones’. They still have morals and whilst the official line is it’s not cool to talk to your parents, when asked who they’d turn to if they had a problem, mum and dad were mentioned, second only to friends.
Over to you. What do you think?
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Please miss. Please miss.
Can I say I told you so?
Twitter: GiveABrick
February 10, 2010 at 10:05 pm
lol I think you just did
Haha, you’ll have to give me a minute now… I had a perfectly serious comment then I saw Ben’s
Um, yes – Over here you still get called all sorts of names if you start early, or are rumoured to have started early (not necessarily the same thing lol). While in some cases there are lots of people that do, and have children by the time they’re 16, etc etc – they’re actually still the minority.
My theory is that it was just as bad before, but the media’s picking up on it more now. Changes in what society as a whole views as wrong may also play a part…
But no, we’re not insane just because we’re in this generation
Heather´s last blog ..Alpha Maps: Control what other people see with textures
Twitter: GiveABrick
February 10, 2010 at 10:18 pm
Actually Heather, what you’ve just said about the media reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my husband’s colleagues. They’re both policemen so it was a conversation about crime rates. In essense, what he said was that crime hasn’t increased. It is the recording of crime that has increased so that these same crimes can be recorded as being detected which in turn makes the force/government look good.
Because you’re absolutely right – if getting pregnant and having a baby at the age of 14 was as common place as the media would have us believe, it would cease to be news. But when folks read about this apparent problem our society has, it perpetuates the problem by encouraging the young people to believe that it is normal to have a physical relationship at 14. Add in a healthy dose of peer pressure and no wonder the UK has one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancy in Europe.
But that wasn’t really what I learned today. I was just heartened to see for myself that Ben is completely right. Our young people are no worse or better than we are/were at their age. I have a very strong memory of throwing empty ink cartridges around the class room when we had a supply teacher. And I was one of the so called ‘good’ ones
Being honest, I think the media needs to get a grip in general lol. The temptation there is to see rates going up; not necessarily to bring true and accurate news (which gave rise to the horrible expression ‘True Facts’. Come on, seriously?!). I stopped watching it a while ago; figure that if we’re going to war, or stuff’s about to explode, someone will tell me… for everything else there’s the internet and you can make up your own mind.
As for being good in school.. jeez I was disgustingly so – at least on the surface *cough*. I figure you’re not really a kid if you haven’t done at least three outrageous things by the time you’re 16.
Heather´s last blog ..Alpha Maps: Control what other people see with textures
Twitter: GiveABrick
February 10, 2010 at 10:42 pm
You’re right. I think us grown-ups need to remember the mischief we got up to as kids. I have to force myself to remember how I used to play tricks on my siblings when I see my eldest be a cheeky little monkey to her sister and brother. I know exactly where she gets it from
As for the news, I don’t watch it either. Like you, I imagine that if something huge happens, I’ll hear about it. I still remember exactly where I was standing when I was told about 9/11. Didn’t need a TV or newspaper to hear about that. The news sort of found me.
Hehe, I think what the majority (from where I’m standing as a young person) of grownups tend to forget that mischief, playing, and cheek in all its forms is actually our way of finding out where boundaries are, and trying to become our own person. If we’re not allowed to do that, even a little, can you really see us being happy as adults?
Yea, if its something big it has a habit of finding you. I was in the orthodontists for that, so I saw it on tv there… remember thinking it was a soap opera and didn’t really realise until the next day that actually, it had really happened.
Heather´s last blog ..Alpha Maps: Control what other people see with textures
Twitter: GiveABrick
February 10, 2010 at 11:18 pm
Firstly, apologies if this reply ends up looking weird. I updated WP on my phone which apparently allows me to reply to comments direct from the wp app. We shall see shortly if it works
Heather, you are wise beyond your years
Us grown-ups need to stop taking life so seriously. But there needs to be a balance because constant mischief would breed chaos.
Looks fine from here El – cool to see it worked
You know it’s funny, we’re the only animal capable of being silly yet for the most part we don’t take advantage of that. Life is for living, if you’re not having fun you’re not living, ergo you’re not alive. HOWEVER, there has to be more to it than that of course – but I don’t see why it should be before you have your first job/move out/go to university.
Take time to be young!
*ahem* As for wise; nah
I just have this unhealthy addiction to personal development, it affects you after a while.
Heather´s last blog ..Alpha Maps: Control what other people see with textures
Twitter: GiveABrick
February 10, 2010 at 11:25 pm
I was rather pleased it worked too
I think life can knock the fun out of people. I like to think that I have fun but I’m lucky in that I spend a lot of time around our children. They force me to have a sense of humour
But I imagine that if you’re stuck in a job you hate, it can be hard to seek out the fun. Or maybe it then becomes even more nessesary to do so?
I think that this thing we dub ‘life’ can knock the fun out of people. Lol, I refuse to believe that something so wonderful should be this hard to attain… we’re off making it difficult for ourselves.
Believe it or not, I’ve actually been in a couple of jobs I really hated. As in, hated so much that when I finally quit I had this huge grin on my face for a week. And less money, but that’s another story. It’s more necessary, I think, to make fun then – I got through it by imagining all the callers were munchkins (I worked in a call centre; it’s hard to get irritated at an angry munchkin hopping up and down in rage at you).
Heather´s last blog ..Alpha Maps: Control what other people see with textures
Twitter: SteveYoungs
February 11, 2010 at 1:38 am
A couple of years ago I was driving my son and daughter somewhere and along the way my son asks: “how do you make baby dinosaurs?” Before I could say anything, my daughter (15 months his senior) chimed in: “oh I know! Can I tell him, Daddy?”
I thought sure, why not. My daughter is 7 (at the time), how graphic can it get…
I damn near crashed the car when I heard coming from the back seat: “…well the daddy dinosaur puts his penis in…”
My first wife gave birth to her son a couple of months before her 14th birthday! (no, not to me)
So, I don’t care what you say, I’m maintaining my healthy level of paranoia and visiting boyfriends will be met while I’m sharpening my very large and very sharp chef’s knife.
Oh, one last thing I want to add. My sex education consisted of my mother handing me a book in a brown paper bag saying “here, your father said read this”. I took it as a form of permission and started looking for ways to lose my virginity.
My God Steve you sound like my Dad did when I first started dating
With the knife thing at least. Somehow I think the reaction is normal…
Heather´s last blog ..Alpha Maps: Control what other people see with textures
Twitter: SteveYoungs
February 11, 2010 at 2:56 am
Yeah, us Dads are pretty protective of our little princesses.
Twitter: GiveABrick
February 11, 2010 at 8:47 am
And now you sound like my husband Steve
It amazes me how we treat our sons and daughters so differently. As you intimated with the book in a bag story, you were encouraged to start a physical relationship and yet girls are called all the names under the sun if they’re known to be involved with someone at a young age. As they say, it takes two to tango
Twitter: SteveYoungs
February 11, 2010 at 10:26 pm
There are a lot of double standards in this world, which is very sad. Sadder still is that I know I’ve been guilty of it at times. Then again, so has every single person on the planet. The boys that were calling the girls those derogatory names were at the same time secretly hoping that these girls would have sex with them. What they’d do if they were actually given the opportunity is another story of course.
BTW, the intention my parents had when they gave me my “sex education” was definitely not for me to have any physical relationships with anyone. In fact, I’m certain it was the opposite.
Yes it does. Unless you are talking about hormone enraged boys who are happy just as long as the other participant isn’t fighting back too much.
OK, that’s a tiny bit tongue in cheek, but a couple of things to understand about boys…
1. We don’t understand the concept of subtlety
2. We don’t understand girls AT ALL
3. We don’t hear the first 50 “No’s”
4. We believe that the 51st “No” is really a “Yes”
5. Occasionally we believe that we can turn the “No” into a “Yes” after the event.
Don’t kid yourself that children aren’t having sex. They are. And they are starting at younger and younger ages. And guess what? They never ever tell adults (parents or teachers) that they are doing it. And yes, that includes the kids in your year 10 class. Not all of them, but definitely one or two.
Cynically yours
Steve.
Steve Youngs´s last blog ..Understanding Motivation – Part I
“And guess what? They never ever tell adults (parents or teachers) that they are doing it.”
That part I’ll agree with; if you have started, telling your parents or teachers is NOT high on your list of things to do.
Its kinda funny though, my parents sidestepped the whole me-telling thing my assuming I’d started Long before I had. Go figure.
Heather´s last blog ..Sunshine Awards – Congratulations Everyone!