Journey To Justice – Surviving Abuse by @Maria_Muir

When Eleanor asked me to write an article about surviving abuse and some advice on how to help people cope with a disclosure, I couldn’t refuse although personally, I dont yet really call myself a survivor but I hate being a victim. This article was supposed to be written before Eleanor left on her holiday, but l had just recieved some alarming news and had to check it out and can be now included in this article.

Surviving

For any abuse victim every day is a fight to survive. Just because the abuse ends doesn’t mean that their suffering ends too. Its only the beginning. Victims lose their self worth, their pride, their humanity. A childhood snatched and an adult life destroyed. Childhood can never be replaced. Shame is the biggest factor, self blame and fear, preventing victims from disclosing their abuse. Victims are brainwashed over a period of time and believe the abuser beyond doubt, especially if the abuser is a relative or a close family friend where they are in a position to know personal details about the family and use it to their advantage.

Victims lose their own self respect and come to believe that they are to blame for their abuse, although not fully understanding why they are to blame they believe it to be true because why else would an adult they once trusted subject them to horrific sexual acts that are beyond the imagination? They are destroyed beyond all recognition by the time they become adults. Most victims turn to alcohol, drugs, commit suicide, become homeless, rejected by their family and friends, a string of failed relationships or become the abuser. There are also those who can lead a life without these battles and go on to be very successful people, happy and at peace, but they are few.

By the time I was 20yrs old, alcohol had become my best friend. I couldn’t cope with the shame and the guilt of my abuse, I couldn’t cope with the fact that there was no-one I could turn too, I didn’t trust anyone. I could never speak up for myself and when I did it was through stammering and embarrassment, lacking in confidence, low self esteem, fear of people…..fear of myself. A dark growing hate of who I was, who I had become, I despised the wreck of a woman staring back at me in the mirror. I couldn’t hold down a job, a decent relationship, had no friends or close family members I could turn too and had to learn to live with the fact I had been abused and there was no-one to help me.

It is a lonely, shallow empty life. Every day becomes a fight for survival as you try to ‘fit in’ and put on a happy face and look as though you haven’t a care in the world. But you can only keep this up for so long before that becomes a burden as you struggle to maintain a happy, sane and likeable persona. The despair and turmoil leave a path of destruction and losing the will to live. Over time victims become withdrawn from society, become reclusive, almost hermit like.

There is no justice, no salvation, no inner peace.

Facts

How can anyone hold a child accountable for abuse? When they should be playing childhood games, building sandcastles and keeping snails for pets, they live in fear, in pain, and broken.

There is no excuse for child abuse.

Journey To Justice

Innocent Voices UK is a website set up to support victims of child sex abuse which I set up along with three other survivors in August last year. We help to raise awareness of abuse and how people can help. We have personally helped several people, offering support and friendship, giving them a voice and a place where they can go and feel safe.

On Saturday 29th May, we are holding a demo in Buchanan Street Glasgow, 12pm – 3pm, to raise the awareness of child sex abuse with a peacful gathering handing out flyers, petitions and information on how the general public can help protect innocent children. The demo is being organised along with another group based in Glasgow called We Are Change and Nicola Mc from FaceBook group. We are seeking justice for all abuse victims and asking for a change in the law for longer sentencing without parole and that on their release, people have the right to be informed of a paedophile being housed in their area.

E.U. & Germany

The E.U. & Germany are trying to legalise paedophilia which has been revealed in a published booklet. So many people even those in anti-paedophile groups are still unaware of this publication, It has now been removed from publication, but that does not take away the fact it was written, verified, proof-read, spell checked, agreed, published and sent out to millions of parents in Germany by Family Affairs and these sickening actions were encouraged to take place.

Imagine it… instead of what used to be a shock about finding out your teacher was gay or a lesbian, in a few years our kids could be coming home from school and casually saying “oh guess what mum, dad.. our teacher is a paedophile… And there will be nothing you can do because you did’nt do a thing when you had the chance to stand up and say “NO”.

What kind of message does this send out to victims and paedophiles? Can you imagine paedophilia being legalised? It is repulsive and degrading, adding insult to injury for victims.

To view the complete story click: E.U. & Germany

Conclusion

Sexual abuse isn’t a new phenomenon, and it continues today at an alarming rate. With the exposure of the Irish catholic church cases and the Vatican’s involvement in covering up horrendous acts of abuse, more and more cases are coming to light which means we are slowly winning the battle to see justice and prevent another child becoming a victim.

If we dont stand up for children……then we dont stand for much.

Next: How you can help victims through support, how to deal with disclosure and how your help is needed.