The rudder that’s steering your ship

Talking to a young man who arrived late to registration this afternoon after getting involved in a fight, I decided to offer him the full scope of my wisdom

“Communication is the key. Communication, love and respect.”

From the look he gave me it seems we were talking in different languages. I tried a different tact:

“Are you hurt?” I asked. Cue an incredulous look from him and the reply, “No”.

I gave up. “Did you win?” I asked. “Yeah!” came the proud reply. We parted company as a sea of teenagers carried him off to history.

This whole dialogue gave me cause to remember the sentence about rudders that’s been rattling around my brain for a few days.

“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.

Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”

Those words were written a couple of thousand years ago and yet speak loudly into the situation we find ourselves in today. They were certainly very apt for my young boxer. I have no idea what started the fight but I can guarantee you it began with words.

Last week my daughter’s teacher was dressed in a traditional Welsh costume. Passing her on the school yard I commented on how posh she looked. She told me she felt stupid and I disagreed and said she looked beautiful. The smile that appeared on her face was priceless. I didn’t plan to pay her that compliment. It just slipped off my tongue without a second thought.

Having shared an occasion where my tongue was kind, I’d better tell you about the time my tongue got me into trouble.

I’m a bit of a soft touch. I know it. My children know it but I pick my battles and they know when I mean it. It works for us but I appreciate it’s not everyone’s way.

Standing on the school yard one morning, some mothers were talking about their morning routines. One lady said that her children always get themselves dressed when told to and I said the first thing that came into my head:

“That’s because you’re really scary!”

She didn’t speak to me for literally months

I’ve said that often much of what I write is autobiographical and it seems today is no exception I’m getting better but in case I should forget, here’s a proverb that I’d do well to remember.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

What about you? Are you feeling brave enough to share the times your tongue has got you into trouble?